Oblivion

One night, before I wake up to face reality
Misery brought me through the night’s influx
I welcomed the sun’s adieu with sorrow
Bid farewell to night’s darkness with sadness
Hoping the sun’s light would awaken me
But dark clouds filled this ambiance of hope
Sadly, I wouldn’t probably see the sun shines
The day is almost over, wish I could be like that

One afternoon of week’s ending
An afternoon of gloominess and misery
One whole life filled with melancholy
A heart that beats with hope…
… tainted with oblivion

Nada Surf

“Always love”
According to Nada Surf
“And hate will get you every time”
As what they say

What if hate already got me
That is always gonna be
To hate or to love
Don’t know which I should have

My Angel

In the arms of my angel
I close my eyes
The warmth of your embrace
The heat of your breath
The hum of your delicate voice
That humbly took away
My sorrow and gladness…

In the arms of my angel
I softly speak…
Uttering no words
That could hurt her feelings.
Calmly I caress her fragile face.

In the arms of my angel
My sorrow flew
And my gladness left
Leaving me with nothing
But frozen emotions.

Just in Silence

As twilight comes between us
Bright scene of yours darkens
Surrounded by greens and crypt
Darkened entity is all that I see
Sat beside his grave, you stand on his
A perfect view of the past
Made the nightfall bloom
Melting stare I threw upon you
Across graveyard’s cemented road
You reverberated an “arthraic” smile
A silence of confusion surrounds me
Then in silence I speak to you
And in this silence…
… I’ll keep on loving you

Irony Of My Affection

Tonight, I’m in my deepest sorrow.
I won’t probably see you tomorrow.
Sad love songs resounds my ear;
Accentuate my feelings throughout the year.
Reminiscing the memoirs we had
I should say it was terribly sad.
When I close my eyes tonight
A glimpse of your face is so bright.
Ironically you should be in the dark
Cause in my heart you left a mournful mark.
Your look ensnares my fragile mind
But I’ll stare and wait until you fall behind.
Your tender lips I once brushed with mine;
Forgotten kisses could be a sign.
I can feel that soft hand on my palm
But it was cold, it was never warm.
With your sweet gentle embrace
Holds me back but I still won the race.
I can sense your warm breath on my ear
But your “I love you’s” I could never hear.
I hate you now but I love you later
My affection is sweet and bitter.
Tonight, I’m in my deepest sorrow.
I hope to see you in days that follow tomorrow.

If only

The clouds above is so dark,
as well as my heart.
The river flows in a never-ending way,
and so are my tears.
The birds can high fly, faraway,
and so is my wish.
The rocks are hard and can feel no pain,
and but I am not.

How I wish I could close my eyes forever,
and never see the beauty of your face.
How I wish I could run as fast as the river,
so I could get away from your truthful lies.
How I wish I could fly away,
so that I can feel freedom from your love.
How I wish I could feel no pain,
And stop myself from bleeding.

I can’t play the piano

Black old piano
Weinstein and Sons
52 white keys and 36 black
3 pedals underneath
Do re mi fa sol la ti do
Do ti la so fa mi re do
Chord C, do mi sol
Chord D, re #fa la
Chord E, mi #sol ti
Chord F, fa la do
Chord G, sol ti re
Chord A, la #do mi
Chord B, ti #re #fa
Song book with 89 songs
German, American, British,
Scottish, French, Spanish,
Swiss, Neapolitan, Irish,
Mexican, Russian, Polish,
Australian, Indonesian,
and Malaysian folk songs.
Along came Beethoven,
Mozart, Vivaldi, and Chopin.
Piano sonatas, and recital pieces.
Their music I cannot play.
But I write my own songs.
What the hell am I saying?
I can’t even read a note.

Hometown Chances

It was like yesterday
First days of summer
I left home and someone.
Few days of visit
My life played fast-forward.
I consider things to take place
But not this hastily.
Every move was like a rush
So, I took the chances
Seeing if it would work out
Few seven-days passed
It was smooth sailing
No hassles and worries
Petty fights are elsewhere.
Few seven-days more
Vagueness filled my chances.
The odds of working things out
I, myself jeopardized.
Are there hope,
For my so-called “chances”?
I guess there’s not
She never even gave me
That chance…

First Dance

It was not a prom night or acquaintance ball
Or a graduation dance in a convention hall
It could be a birthday bash or a party
But not a soiree after facing the sanctuary

In this vast room I lean on one corner
Watching you as if I was your stalker
Few love songs played on my senses
Wish I could dance in your presence

You were there with friends full of laughter
How I wish I could fast-forward to the fifth of September
I imagined that day as special as it can be
And ask you this question, “Would you dance with me?”

Fire and Brimstone

It was that one night of sweet November
Under the drizzle on that two-way street,
Parked with cars and nocturnal boozers;
And surrounded by blinded friends.
Drunk under the domination of your presence,
Thrilled by the static that we created;
And by the warmth and coldness of your rind.
As I mock with this arid and ashen lips,
As you smile and mirth with a taunt
Maw of humor thirsts for graze and touch.
Drunken mentality and missing thoughts
Your bemused stare and hypnotic grasp,
My hardened heart and pessimistic mind
Turned into frail focal point and sanguine mind
My arid and ashen maw of humor,
Gave in to your spellbinding entreat.

It was that one night of summer’s May
Under the end of the lengthy Scotch mist.
Privately somewhere around town
Two-way streets and a few intersections;
Emptied with cars and quiescent dwellers.
Besieged by the reality of your presence,
Elated by the touch of your hand on mine.
Silence filled this maw of humor;
Thoughts of imagination vanished swiftly.
My sensible mindset and tranquil state of mind
Your delicate voice and perplexed stare
Attempted to read this non sense silence of mine
Under the coldness of the night breeze
Words you speak I cannot hear but I understand
With your warm touch and eyes that I love to gaze
I gave in to your spellbinding intrepid act.

Two nights, under the fine rain
Along the two-way streets of the city
Drunk and thrilled; besieged and elated
By the presence of two beings
One night of sweet November
One night of summer’s May
A spellbinding entreat and intrepid act
A haunting memories that I, alone can haunt

Drowning in Love? Or in Pain?

During my sleepless nights,
‘twas every night
Blank visions filled my head
…
Outside the pouring rain of sorrow
I lay myself down on the crossroad
Star gazing at the dark sky
With no sight of a single brightness
I searched for you my own star
For you lighten my saddened affection
As the rain persist to fall on me
I dried myself up with torment
And thirst with your love and devotion
I hunger ‘til death for your touch
I seek for a lagoon of water and wine
I take you with me to drenched ourselves
And allow you to drown me in pain

Detour

I was there, standing in front visible for everyone.
I scream at the top of my lungs so everybody could hear.
I dress differently so everyone could notice.
I became wasted so everybody would care.
I went away so everyone would find me.
I was lost… nowhere to go…
I found a way back home…
Nobody was there… everyone was out searching…
And I found you still sitting there…
You never saw me…
Heard me…
Noticed me…
Cared for me…
Looked for me…
Yet, you waited
And you know that I could still find my way back home.

Dark Hope

In the stillness of the night,
In the dark corner of my heart
I lay down to die
And waited for that last sigh.

In the stillness of the night
Dark clouds I see above
I waited at the end of the line
To take this last breathe of mine.

In the stillness of the night
Bright stars are nowhere to be found
I seek but I failed
And my sight has reached its bound.

In the stillness of the night
Reminiscing my tragic life
Happy ending it could have been
If you hadn’t just stop believing.

In the stillness of the night
I lie awake in the dark corner of my heart
Dazzled memories in my mind
Brought hope that you would be mine.

Cycle

I fell in-love but I never really did love
I said “I Love You” a hundred time
but it was just a thought
I told you that I cared for you
and that’s all about it
I like you and that’s it
nothing more, nothing less

I’ve been here before
And I never thought that
it would get this serious
I know it’s easy to run
to the exit door
But I never knew the way
And here I am now
stuck and nowhere to go
Confused and puzzled
by the maze of love

I fell in love but not this is for real
I said “I Love You”
this time I mean it
I told you that I cared for you
but that’s not all that matters
I like you the day I met you
and the days that followed
And there’s something more
but nothing less… I love you

ANGEL

Monday morning I left
I snatched your heart like a theft
I brought with me a hope
And tie it in your heart with a rope.

I know that I’ll never be around
But with my character you will be astound
Selfish as it may seem
But self-centeredness I was never been.

……………………

2nd Day

Today, tonight, the second day
Midmonth of the year
Nothing but an ordinary day
Just the rain that pours hard.

Thirty-one days I ago
And another thirty days back
There was something on this day
Let me think…

…
…
…
…

Ah! Let me think again
…
…
…

Give me another minute
…
…
…

Wait…
I cannot remember a thing
I guess there was nothing
Nothing special about this day

…
…
How I wish I could remember
Too bad I can’t